HALP! My manager is leaving me
How to navigate the change of managers, especially as a junior.
Having good managers can be one very strong reason you love your job. Good managers can be your coach, your therapist, your safety net, and your cheerleader rolled into one. I have always treated my managers like life coaches, mostly for navigating my professional career but sometimes also for sorting out personal stuff.
But what if, one fine day your manager announces, they can no longer be that for you? 🥺
Maybe they are switching jobs or moving up the ladder. Or maybe you are switching jobs. In either case, the weekly hour on your work calendar to rant, discuss, and get inspired is in danger.
I have been tremendously fortunate to have very amazing folks as my managers. Each with their very unique voice and managing style, I feel they shaped me in a lot of ways.
However, moving jobs and being in hyper-growth startups also meant my managers changed more frequently than I would have liked. From all of these experiences, almost 6 times over now, I learned some things.
First and foremost, be as melodramatic as you can be.
Well, things are going so well, why do they have to make the change now. Apart from all the things going on in your life, you also have to deal with this? It is completely alright to take time to process this, make sure you whine and be dramatic about it.
Okay, now detach yourself from the situation.
My mom used this analogy — we are all hopping on and off of trains to reach our destination. While on these trains, we meet people. So obviously people switching trains is very normal and expected.
Just in this case, it happens to be your manager.🙃
Realise it is not personal. They are on their own journey, their own career paths, and things they want to do with their life. Switching trains is troublesome and sometimes requires a lot of courage. The least you can do is celebrate and give them some good vibes as they jump off this one.
Before your manager leaves
You are still very much on that train, and you should make sure you got what you need to carry on. Good managers make sure the transition is smooth and they set you up for success. Still.
Be proactive in voicing out what you will need from them.
Do you need some active feedback/ action items/a roadmap for your next promotion? Do you want them to introduce and help set shared expectations with your new manager? Do you want them to leave some specific notes for your future manager?
Play an active role in making sure your transition is smooth for yourself, rather than waiting to see how things pan out!
Meeting the new manager
Whether your new manager is reporting to your old manager, replacing them, or is completely new to the role — be patient, and kind. Transitions are often hard and it takes time to find a working groove, and build trust in relationships.
- If you know who your next manager is, don’t wait. Don’t wait for that official announcement, or your current manager to leave, or for the new manager to set up a recurring 1-on-1 with you.
- Set up 15–20 mins to have an informal coffee chat and acknowledge the new working relationship.
- Share your personal development plan or any other career doc with them.
- Agree on starting 1-on-1s as soon as possible, and get a running meeting doc started.
How can I understand my manager’s working style?
Julie Zhou, the author of making of a Manager, shared how she does an exercise of writing a user manual for herself. Basically, it is a manual on how one can successfully work with you.
“It creates clarity on how you work — what you value, how you look at problems, what your blind spots or areas of growth are, and how to build trust with you.”
I picked up some questions from her blog you can ask your new manager.
- What do you consider a stellar job who reports to you? What would you consider a mediocre/bad job?
- How do you describe your communication style?
- How do you like to stay in sync with others/me (email, Slack, meetings, etc)?
- What are some things I can count on you for?
- How would you like me to handle conflicts?
- What actions can a person take to gain your trust? Conversely, what triggers you?
- Any other expectation that is unique to you and may differ from other managers.
Lastly, what if you are not going to have a manager for a while?
While it sucks, it is what it is.
Look around and adopt a manager. Or better, adopt a few of them!
Maybe it’s a senior designer or a product manager. Maybe it’s a combination. You need to be actively working on your career, coach or no coach. Plus, we all have more shared experiences and learnings from our careers than we realize, and everyone that we meet has something we can learn from them.
If you start treating this transition as just another part of your job, and realise the person on the other end is also trying to do their best (be it your old manager or the new one), you will find this entire process less painful, and might even
Now in my acceptance mode,
Chhavi
Special thanks to Ivy for her suggestions, and all my managers and senior colleagues who have shaped my career so far!💛
